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A hypothetical case study: - In each case the client’s approval has been acknowledged.
A middle-aged man, whom I will call William, has come for spiritual counselling because he feels that he is not coping at the moment. He hasn’t told anyone he has sought help for himself in the form of counselling because it is a source of shame for him to admit that he doesn’t feel in control of his life and he feels he needs help.
William was made redundant nine months ago and although he has been trying to establish himself as a freelance worker, prospective clients seem prejudicial towards his age. At 54 years of age William is feeling a failure – a ‘has been’ with no useful future.
Exacerbating the situation, his wife’s mother has died recently and because William has been feeling depressed himself he has felt unable to be of comfort to his wife. Consequently she has become increasingly withdrawn.
His daughter too has her own problems with her marriage and, besides, William has never been one to confide in others, friends or family. He has always been the stoic provider, the reliable father and husband and he is now feeling without a role in life as a person who has rarely shown his emotions, he is now feeling ‘all at sea’. In this frame of mind there really isn’t anyone William feels he can share his feelings of inadequacy with. The image he thought others perceived him as having was virtually all he had left to bolster his sinking self-esteem.
Taking these presenting problems to counselling: -
William felt that he had nothing to lose by going for counselling; he had no image to live up to there. He could explore his feelings of inadequacy, shame and depression and growing sense of hopelessness. With the help of his counsellor he was able to talk through his fears: of ageing, of feeling that he was of no use to anyone, of perhaps in future being unable to look after himself even.
Many issues came to the fore for William as he thought about his childhood and his overbearing father’s expectations of him. He began to be aware of patterns in his life, he began to understand why he had always felt compelled to be an achiever and why he could not express or even access his emotions readily. |
